


Two Terrible Men

by Saku777



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Nationverse, ace Russia, asexual russia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 16:38:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saku777/pseuds/Saku777
Summary: Even after centuries knowing one another you can still  discover new things about another being. A look at the relationship between Prussia and Russia.





	Two Terrible Men

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kerouacs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kerouacs/gifts).

“Hey, hey, pay attention to me.”

Indeed it was impossible not to, since Gilbert was refusing to leave Russia’s study and had resorted to throwing crumpled paper balls at him. However Russia still attempted. 

“Come on! I hardly see you cause you’re so busy. I mean its it’s not like I’m lonely or not busy. I’m super super busy but like I think we should take advantage of this chance.” He flung one more paper ball at Russia’s face, which hit him right in the nose.

Russia then proceeded to go over and throw all the paper Gilbert had in the fireplace. Giving up, and deeply regretting working from home Russia asked, “To do what?”“

“To go on a date,” Gilbert winked and smirked at him.

Russia just stared, “Why?”

The question took Gilbert aback, why indeed. He gaped for a moment, which amused Russia and then said with some hesitation and embarrassment, “Uh…um…cause I like you I guess, I mean you interest me and we’ve been together for a while and not gone on one once and I deserve attention.” He also wanted to spend time with Russia, but that was too embarrassing to admit. 

“But what would happen on this date?”

Gilbert smirked again, “That’s up to us, but lucky for you I’ve been thinking about it. Dinners are boring and movies don’t give me attention, nothing coupley either cause that’s lame and pda is stupid.” There was also the fact that Russia wasn’t out, and the fact that their very relationship was a secret, it was better that way. “It’s winter so something seasonal. How about ice skating? We’re both good at it.” 

“Hmm,” Well it didn’t sound like a bad idea, but Russia didn’t want to seem eager and teasing Gilbert was amusing. “I’m unsure.”

“Why? Oh I get it,not hardcore enough for you, huh? That’s really hot.” Now Russia was just confused. 

“I know!” Gilbert said,””You Russians really like ice diving yeah? I read about it online,let’s do that.”

Now it was Russia’s turn to be taken aback. “It's not Epiphany yet.” 

“And Jesus needs love too all year round, let’s do it. I won’t take no for a answer.” 

It seemed like a bad idea, yet the boldness intrigued Russia so he said, “Very well.” 

That was how they ended up near a large group of woods in a vast ice plain, equipped with their winter clothing, blankets, hot soljanka, vodka, cigarettes, and an ice saw. Russia was cutting a hole in the ice while Gilbert stood back, having a smoke. “I’ll let you go first cause I’m generous like that and I don’t want you to feel bad when I do it with more finesse than you.” 

Russia held back the snort which threatened to escape him. He was far more experienced, if anything Russia was looking forward to seeing Gilbert vulnerable and beaten. It was both endearing and satisfying. “Don’t forget to light a fire,” Russia advised, seemingly ignoring what Gilbert had said. 

“Oh right, you know, this really takes me back. Like when we were kids,” Gilbert said as he took out the dry wood they had brought with them and piled it on the shore of the ice filled lake. 

“Hm?” 

“Yeah! It’s kinda nostalgic. Remember when we fought and I was so cool and amazing and the ice broke cause of bad luck? And then you pulled me up and gave me a good choke? That was really fun, you should do it again, that would be really hot.” He winked at Russia.

“Why?” asked Russia who just squinted at him, confused once more.

There was silence as Gilbert struggled to piece words together in a non-embarrassing way. “Because it just is ok?” It was lame retort but he couldn’t think of anything better. “It’s hot like I’m hot or like you are. “ 

By now Russia had taken off his clothes and was just in his swim trunks. Gilbert was more focused on the fact that he was being ignored. “Hey, I’m talking t-” Russia jumped in before letting Gilbert finish.

Gilbert, now distracted, gave a cheer, stood up, clapped, and then lit the fire, which quickly grew in size. With his head and should now above the water Russia dipped his head under the water three times out of custom. The cold was bracing, but nothing terrible, for her was used to such things and had an unusual tolerance to cold regardless. In fact it was almost invigorating and refreshing.

After a few seconds Russia quickly came out. This was always the worst part he mused to himself, since the cold air rapidly lowered one’s temperature more than the freezing water,

“Here!” said Gilbert as he tossed him a few towels. He dried himself off, grabbed a spare pair of pants, a jacket, and after putting them on went over to the fire and began to warm himself up as Gilbert tossed a blanket over his had, “Go crazy, but now it’s my turn so make sure to pay close attention and watch a master at work.”

Russia snorted again, but this time Gilbert ignored him. Russia knew Gilbert was anything but a master, meanwhile Russia had done this at least once every year and sometimes more as well. Russia absentmindedly watched Gilbert undress as he nursed a bottle of vodka. “Only for a few minutes,” he said, for he was growing secretly, but increasingly concerned Gilbert might try to stay in longer.

“I know, I know, I’m not stupid, geez.”

No, he wasn’t, Russia thought to himself, but he was terribly reckless.

Having just shed all his clothing Gilbert grinned at Russia, winked, took a deep breath, and jumped in. It was a mix of pain, exhilaration and slight regret as the cold pierced him like knives. Still, he wasn’t the type to back down from any challenge. Shivering, he decided to tease Russia a little and said, “Hey, what if I stay in nine or ten min-”

Before he could even finish Russia dragged him out and rubbed his hair with a towel. 

”W-wait what? What the f-fuck was that for? And give me that,” he said, snatching the towel from Russia and proceeding to dry himself off. “Why didn’t you let me finish? Were you worried about me?” His frown turned into a smirk. 

“No, of course not,” Russia said, though he was. “It would simply be unfair for you to stay longer before I even had a chance to."

“Uh, yeah right, you were worried about me. Its ok if you’re shy in front of someone as amazing as myself.” Gilbert who was now dressed, covered, and after serving himself a bowl of hot soup, sat next to Russia near the fire. “Nothing like soljanka, right? And Vanya you wasted and opportunity, you didn’t choke me like you did before when I was in ice water. I’m really let down.”

Russia was exasperated, while Gilbert was totally serious. “I don’t understand you.” Perhaps it was nostalgia, he mused to himself.

“Uh, it just…well I’m into it?” Gilbert said awkwardly.

Russia didn’t understand and was left more confused than ever.

After some silence and drinking some vodka as well Gilbert said, “So you never said if I was hot or not.”

“You keep using that phrase, but you’ve never once explained it to me.” 

“What, seriously?” Gilbert said, now frowning.

“I don’t care for keeping up with modern slang in any language. I’m not a teenager.”

“Just cause you’re hundreds of years old doesn’t mean you have to act like it,” Gilbert said, feeling slightly cross.

He fell silent, wrestling with the choice between sparing himself awkwardness or possibly validating his ego. In the end being Gilbert he decided on the latter. “”Well duh, it uh, well I’m basically asking if you think I’m sexy.” He said the final words rapidly, trying to ignore the warm feeling that arise on his slightly flushed face. but failing to avoid averting his eyes from Russia. 

Unfortunately for him whatever expectations he had were not met, for Russia simply responded with a blunt “No."

Gilbert gaped at him, “But why?! Do you think I’m ugly?"

This time Russia avoided the question, “Do you think so little of yourself you have to ask that?” 

“Now Gilbert grew irritated, “Don’t be fucking smart with me. Ok, ok, so why are we even dating, in a relationship? Who do you think is sexy?”

Russia again ignored the first question, as well as Gilbert’s irritation and said, “Ah, actually I don’t feel that way about anyone.”

Gilbert’s frown disappeared, only to be a replaced by a look of slight confusion. “Wait, so it’s not just me?”A small laugh of relief escaped him and he said, “Well if that’s the case I can live with that? Ok, different question, am I handsome, good looking, cute, and adorable? You can’t escape this one and I know this time you’ll say yes! Even grandmothers can’t disagree!” 

“Why that group?” Russia was puzzled. 

”Shh, no getting out of it, you gotta tell!”

There was another pause as Russia contemplated on what to say and how to say it. As he did this Gilbert stared straight at him, but the he said, “You are….endearing I suppose, and interesting."

"And I'm the most endearing and interesting," Gilbert said before he let out a very loud and obnoxious sneeze.

Russia stood up, “We’’re done here.”

Gilbert pouted, “What? Why?”

“Do you wish for me to leave you behind?”

“No, but-” 

“Then you should hurry up.” Grumbling, Gilbert quickly finished his soup and gathered up his things, then went into the car. After Russia joined him he asked, “But you had fun right? Don’t lie, I know you did, everyone has fun with me even if they say they didn’t.” 

Russia started the car and drove off, since due to his unusually high tolerance to alcohol he was not drunk at all, instead he merely contemplated his response. After a moment of silence he said, “It was tolerable.”

”Seriously? Come on just admit it. I know you’re just trying to piss me off, well it won’t work. You had fun.” 

He was right on both counts. However Russia said nothing and there was no indication of his true feelings save for the very small smile that ghosted across his lips for a short moment.

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in modern day and as the tag says is a nationverse fic. Also their relationship, as stated in the fic is a secret. 
> 
> I headcanon Russia as panromantic asexual, however he himself is unfamiliar with the term and therefore doesn't see himself in that way or even as queer and isn't even out. That being said he's pretty unconcerned about his lack of interest in sex and sexual attraction as he has other things on his mind he sees as more important, it just is how he is. 
> 
> Prussia himself identifies as bisexual and is out and comfortable with his sexuality. Also he is called Gilbert here partly because they are in a relationship, but also partly because he really is no longer Prussia which is something Russia senses and is all too aware of. Prussia is unaware of the latter reason, perhaps partly willingly unaware.
> 
> Ice bathing is done on Epiphany which takes place in January. However it's also sometimes done during other times in the winter or after leaving a banya (sauna)
> 
> Being a INTJ in my headcanons Russia is not the most romantic (he after did say in canon that italy's philosophy on a gift, that it should come from the heart and feelings, was useless), being a ENTJ Prussia does not mind and is similar.


End file.
